April 4, 2012

Forever 49.

Today is the bright sunny day, even it's still cold outside. Seven years ago April, 4th was warm, yet rainy. I remember that day really well. What I was eating, what happened in school, how I got home, who I was talking to, how we've got a phone call and my grandma picked it up. How she told me and my mom what had happened. 

Just because someone died it's not over. My father died 7 years ago but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell. The most funny and amazing man I've ever met so far.

He died many years ago, and yet when something special happens to me, I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me feel better to half believe it.

I don't know why I'm writing this post actually... Probably I just want him to read it somehow. Do they get an internet up there?

Can miles truly separate you from friends.. If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

Ain't I already there? Wait, hold on. I'm still in cold and wintery Russia, even it's the middle of the spring
everywhere. I'm so ready to wear dresses and summer shoes, take off these annoying winter coats and hats, spend as much time outside as I can and fall in love. With beautiful spring cherry blossoms.

Here is Anton's birthday, August 2011, the best sunset in Seattle I've seen with people who I care about.