if your parent passed away

So here is a very important topic I want to talk about. This week some tragic event happened in my family and I feel that it's important to talk about this openly and maybe someone who will accidentally stumble upon this post will feel support and will realize that he/she is not alone in this.

My dad passed away when I was 13 - very tragically, unexpected, at a young age. At that time it felt like my whole world collapsed and turned upside down. I realized that what happened was inevitable, but I couldn't help but wake up every morning hoping that all of that was just a dream but only to realize that it was not.

It lasted for months, years, and as I was praying that the feeling of grief would go away, yet it never did. I learnt how to live without him, and things have changed, but they are just different.

But the turning point in my life was when I realized that instead of focusing that I lost him, I should focus on the fact that I actually had an opportunity to know him. How many people are born every day, yet I was so lucky to call that incredible man - my father.

Let's just admit at this point, that there won't be anyone to replace the pain. But there will definitely be other people who will make your life incredible, in the future, who you might not even know yet. For instance, when you will have children of your own.

People are more compassionate than you think. Nothing will make this any easier, but you need to remember that it's better to talk about it, than hiding it inside. I couldn't discuss my feelings with anyone in my surrounding, as I believed that no one would understand, but now looking back I realize that I underestimated my friends. It shouldn't feel awkward or weak to talk about it - just remember, that vulnerability is vital and sharing your grief with your close friends will make you realize, that you are not alone.

Now, even after 10 years, I still see him everywhere and I can't be more grateful for him being by my side looking after me. I know, I'm getting a little spiritual here, but no matter if you are religious, or not, no one can argue the fact that love is the only thing that transcends time and space, and I still feel his love wherever I go.

photo taken in Sunriver, OR